Sunday, July 3, 2011

Things We Now Know

I’m probably late to the funeral, but still, this has to be a bad sign:

Who is that, you ask. Excellent question, hypothetical person I’ve created for rhetorical purposes. It’s newly-declared Republican Presidential candidate Thaddeus McCotter. This makes the second year in a row an older white gentleman has run for the Republican nomination while also fancying himself a guitarist. Now, odds are, he is not very good and does not have very good taste. Nevertheless, this is the perfect opportunity to remind ourselves that rock and the guitar specifically are very much uncool now. If it’s safe enough for a Republican nominee to touch, it’s not edgy and not cool.

Now, deep down, we always knew this. We knew that when we noticed the kid playing the acoustic guitar in high school, singing some nonsense song in a falsetto voice. Nevertheless, now we really know and have no excuse. It’s time to officially deny the genre, or at least come up with some controversial figures.

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